‍又到了美国本科大学留学申请季时间了,出国留学申请中,申请书又让无数卑微申请者秃头。TestDaily厚朴优学的申请老师为大家整理了6篇MIT录取者优秀的申请文书范文及文书创作技巧,分享给大家,供大家参考学习~

2021年因为疫情,很多美国本科大学选择test optional政策,学生可以不提交SAT/托福等标化考试成绩,在这种情况下,一篇优秀的留学申请文书就显得尤为重要。那么一篇优秀美国大学申请书应该怎么写作呢?我们给大家推荐这两个相关的留学申请书创作小技巧,希望对提升大家的留学申请书创作能力有帮助!

美本申请成功文书的两大关键

申请文书写作技巧之-清晰的内容规划

一篇好的留学申请书,通常从一个狭窄的、具体的事件或者经历出发,再逐渐展开到更宽泛的观点或理解。

这种写法其实不仅限于大学留学文书,如果留心的话,小伙伴们可能会发现,许多文章内容都遵循类似的结构计划。

申请人会从一个非常详细的事件或对一个人或地方的描述开始,再慢慢扩展到更广泛的观点,并将这段非常难忘的经历/这个非常难忘的人与作者的现状、心态、新的理解或成熟程度联系起来,形成一篇成功的优秀申请书文章。

在这个过程中,知道应该如何讲好一个故事至关重要。

有一些小伙伴们可能有独一无二的经历,但大多数留学文书essay描写的内容,都是选择日常生活中的琐事,能使他们与众不同的,是作者处理故事的方式:加入戏剧性和幽默感,突出故事的动人品质,表达作者对世界的理解,以及它如何与作者的情感生活联系起来。

申请文书写作技巧之-突出的执行

清晰的规划只是第一步,决定申请文书成败的关键条件是具体的执行。

首先,留学申请书开头第一句很重要

大学招生官看过的留学申请文书千千万,如果不能在第一句成功吸引他们的注意力,可能接下来也很难给他们留下深刻的印象了。

伟大的第一句话是有力的。它可以设置悬念,描绘一个令人兴奋的场景或一个不明确的结论,吸引读者了解更多。

其次,使用有个性的写作风格。

写作是为了让读者感兴趣。在这种情况下,读者是一名美国大学招生官,他在你之前阅读了数千个学生的留学申请文书,之后还会阅读数千篇,因此绝对要努力让大学的招生官不感到厌烦。

使用有趣的描述,避免陈词滥调,多从自己的独特角度描写……简单来说,使用任何让留学申请书的内容读起来像你而不像任何其他人的创作的方法,让留学大学的招生官喜欢。

最后,是最基本,但也可能是最容易被忽略的,英语使用的正确性。

要保证没有拼写错误,没有奇怪的语法,没有乱七八糟的标点符号,以及没有把美国大学学校的名字弄混。

如果这种精确性不是你的强项,那么可以让父母、老师、文书老师和其他任何可能发现英语使用错误的人帮忙检查。

虽然留学申请书必须是你自己的作品,但找他人帮助润色是完全没有问题的~

光是这样说,可能小伙伴们还是不知道美国大学留学申请书应该怎么具体实施,但是不用担心,接下来我们一起来看看美国本科顶尖名校-排名top4的MIT录取学生的优秀申请文书范文材料,阅读并参考一下作者们是如何讲好故事的吧~

6篇MIT录取者优秀申请文书范文分享

留学申请书范文一:I am an enthusiastic foodie

Prompt

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do simply for the pleasure of it. This isn’t a trick question. We want to see how you bring balance to your life. (100 words)

Response

I am an enthusiastic foodie. I subscribe to my favorite food blogs, anxious for new recipes, and I research exotic fruits and vegetables.

Armed with knowledge but little experience, I experiment in my own kitchen. As the simple ingredients combine in harmony and delicious smells waft through my apartment, I am eager to test the final dish. Though the end result is not always perfect, I enjoy every step of preparing food.

—学生Elaine Lin ’18

这篇留学申请书的切入点非常独特,同学说自己是个“干饭人”。

从具体内容上来看,申请人着重于强调自己“乐于创新和实验,不害怕失败”的特点,巧妙地通过介绍做饭的这个经历,突出了自己的优秀品质~

留学申请书范文二:At heart, I am Chinese

Prompt

Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations? (200-250 words)

Response

I am completely Chinese. My parents are Chinese and I was born in China. However, as first-generation immigrants, my family and I have been immersed in the French-Canadian culture of Montreal and the American culture of Kansas City. I spent a measly five months in China after my birth, a seemingly short eight years in Montreal, and an even shorter nine years in Overland Park. At heart, I am Chinese like my background, but my childhood is colored by French influences and my adolescence is completely painted with the exuberant American character. As a result, a lot of my life has been categorized by my three countries and cultures: the languages I speak, the habits I have, and the aspirations I dream.

My college track, as of right now, is to double major in economics and mathematics while also minoring in French, but my ultimate goal is to make a positive and memorable impact on the world. Every subject field has a direct lineation to my different cultures, and the most obvious is my interest in French. While it may sound silly, I feel beautiful when speaking such a beautiful language, and I aim to further develop my linguistic foundation through a minor and studying abroad. My love for mathematics is most primarily rooted in my Chinese culture, as my father’s enthusiasm about little mathematical tricks is contagious. Finally, the opportunities and the boldness I find in American culture are best epitomized in its economic landmark: Wall Street.

Prompt

Tell us about the most significant challenge you’ve faced or something important that didn’t go according to plan. How did you manage the situation? (200-250 words)

Response

Math had always been the easy, simple subject for me until calculus suddenly turned math into a terribly fascinating new world for me to explore. My paradigm regarding the seemingly rigid discipline shifted from indifference to a desire to learn how the puzzle pieces of the world clicked and fitted together. I hoped to spread that sentiment by establishing Mu Alpha Theta at my school, a chartering process that I expected to last at most two months.

That preconceived notion could not have been further from the truth. After an arduous month involving hours of research, several phone calls, and admittedly, some pestering, I gained approval to start the chartering process in the second semester of my junior year. Immediately, I wrote the charter application, bylaws, supplementary materials, and student application for the math department to review. Unfortunately, as each error was traded in with another, I realized that my predicted timeframe was an over-optimistic dream. The lag was attributed to the lack of cohesive communication and initiative; I kept pushing my responsibilities to the next week until there was no more time left. Consequently, I took greater measures to accomplish my goals by setting hard deadlines for myself and approaching the math teachers more frequently for feedback.

After seven months, the math department and I have just finished the application process and are reviewing the candidates. Seeing my passion manifest into a tangible organization excites me, and I hope that it does the same for my school’s community.

—学生Judy Wang ’19

在第一篇留学申请书中,同学非常巧妙地将自己的成长经历和身份认同与学术兴趣结合了起来

在第二篇留学申请文书范文中,申请人也通过写学习数学的经历这种方式,成功将一个“烂大街”的题目,回答得生动有趣。

留学申请书范文三:Dancing after a double surgery

Prompt

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (100 words or fewer)

Response

I love putting on makeup. There is something extraordinarily satisfying about choosing different colors and textures to put on my face exactly how I please.

In addition to daily swoops of eyeliner, I also enjoy technical special effects makeup. For the horror-themed dress up day during homecoming last year, I woke up at 5 a.m. to put on a “creepy doll” makeup look of my own design, created entirely out of liquid latex, toilet paper, eyeshadow, and fake blood.

Whether terrifying or not, makeup is a relaxing and creative way for me to express myself.

 

Prompt

At MIT, we seek to develop in each member of our community the ability and passion to work collaboratively for the betterment of humankind. How have you improved the lives of others in your community? (This could be one person or many, at school or at home, in your neighborhood or your state, etc.) (200-250 words)

Response

Matsuyo wrapped her aged hands around mine. She had been uncommunicative and unable to feed herself for some time. Slowly, she began mouthing along as Isang “Aki-no-yuuhi,” a traditional Japanese melody. This simple song about foliage in the setting sun had finally broken through the fog of her dementia.

The care managers told me that, from then on, Matsuyo became more alert and began feeding herself again. I am so thankful that I could break down this barrier with my Japanese and music abilities.

Matsuyo is one of the residents living at Sunrise Senior Living: I have spent over 400 hours volunteering there. My responsibilities at Sunrise include spending one-on-one time with residents and leading group activities such as exercise, current events, meditation, flower arrangement, sing-alongs, baking, and gardening. I also began a weekly “Summer Arts and Crafts with Grace” activity and taught crocheting, sculpting, painting, and jewelry making. I sometimes give violin concerts as well. The residents and staff at Sunrise got to know me so well that Sunrise offered me a job (which I, unfortunately, could not take), and one of the residents, Mama T, refers to me as her granddaughter.

Volunteering has made me appreciate that members of my community are indeed my family, and family members look out for and support each other. Not only was I given the opportunity to enrich these residents’ lives, but they also in turn greatly enriched mine, in the infinitely rewarding moments involving something as simple as a Japanese melody.

Prompt

Tell us about the most significant challenge you’ve faced or something important that didn’t go according to plan. How did you manage the situation? (200-250 words)

Response

Theatergoers watching my high school’s spring musical “Anything Goes” may have noticed one eager and aptly-named AngelGrace smiling from under her blonde 30s wig and tap dancing her way through the entire show. However, they were oblivious to the physical and mental exhaustion this energetic performer endured to achieve that place onstage.

I was born with hyperpronated ankles which causes chronic foot pain. After fruitless physical therapy sessions, my doctors recommended surgery. Not one to miss any school, I elected to have both surgeries the summer before my junior year, only fourteen days apart.

Thus, I spent my entire summer on the couch, nauseous, frustrated, and elevating both ankles above heart level at all times. When school started, I was just starting to use crutches to move around clumsily.

A few weeks after the beginning of school, our choreographer started weekly after-school tap workshops in preparation for“Anything Goes” in the spring. Immediately, I made up my mind to go. While everyone clicked out their time steps and shuffle off to buffaloes, I sat in a chair in my ace bandages and orthopedic shoes, frustrated, humiliated, and trying to mimic their movements. I was a complete novice, but slowly, slowly, I learned how to tap.

After an entire semester of hard work, the“Anything Goes” cast list was posted, and I received a featured tap role. Throughout the show, Angel Grace’s heels clicked the stage with well-practiced precision, her upturned face glowing with elation and triumph.

—学生Grace Kuffner ’20

在第一篇留学申请文书范文中,申请人描述了自己对化妆的热情,虽然学习化妆看似是一件“不务正业”的事情,但因为作者通过这件事强调了自己的创新精神,所以这种方式也不失为是一个优秀的文书选题~

在第二篇文书中,作者选择讲述了自己在Sunrise Senior Living当志愿者的工作经历,她与Matsuyo老奶奶互动的场景是一个非常有趣的引入。

在第三篇文书中,作者阐述了自己非常特殊的经历——先天性的伤病,以及自己克服伤病,成功站上高中音乐剧舞台的坚强和乐观。

留学申请书范文四:I love meeting random people

Prompt

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (100 words or fewer)

Response

“I forgot my pick-up line; you’re really cute. Hi.” I love meeting random people. I’ve found an unexpected compliment can make someone’s day, and random conversation can be rejuvenating to anyone. If I feel social anxiety, I find overcoming it is exhilarating. Sometimes, I’ll walk around the local Walmart just to say “hi” to everyone. I’ve realized many people are interesting and social, eliminating my prejudices. I now easily approach people to discuss ideas. At robotics competitions, I talk to everyone and learn from them. Through meeting random others, my appreciation of people and their stories has surged.

—学生Kevin Palisoc ’18

这篇留学申请文书文的主题很明确,就是作者喜欢与陌生人交流,通过描写他与陌生人的互动经历,以及这一过程中他想法的转变,申请人成功让自己“开朗、乐于克服困难和虚心向他人学习”的正面形象跃然纸上。

留学申请范文五:Marching to a different beat

Prompt

Please tell us more about your cultural background and identity in the space below. (100 words)

Response

My genes are over 99 percent identical to every other Homo Sapiens. I live in a progressive meditation community in Fairfield, Iowa, that is rich in eastern philosophy. I did not grow up in a particularly religious household, but my parents have been interested in New Age phenomena for as long as I can remember. I was not directly exposed, however, until I moved to Fairfield. Fortunately, my skepticism was met with love, bliss, reason, and direct experience of the development of consciousness. A diverse, global community has gathered in Fairfield, for the wonderful lives these principles and meditation create.

Prompt

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do simply for the pleasure of it. (100 words or fewer)

Response

Well, last night I went sledding with a bunch of friends then we came back to my house two thirds frozen and jumped in my hot tub and listened to music. Then we jumped out half-naked and made snow angels before sprinting back to the warmth of the water. Fun night.

I also really love meditation. The daily experiences I have are unlike anything else in my life. They vary widely, so it’s always interesting and fun, yet they are consistently blissful and rejuvenating. My meditation allows me to enter activity with vigor and joy for life!

Prompt

Tell us about the most significant challenge you’ve faced or something important that didn’t go according to plan. How did you manage the situation? (200-250 words)

Response

Choosing between continuing my traditional high school education and diverging from the beaten path to pursue what I thought would bring greater knowledge, skill, and bliss was probably the most difficult choice I have ever made. The conflict between what I felt and rationally knew to be right, and what society was telling me to do, was enormous. Many people thought my judgment was poor, and I at times had doubts. I felt like I was throwing away everything I had worked hard for since I was a kindergartener, by breaking the system. I have yet to be admitted to any colleges, so I still do not know the full consequences of my actions, but I do know that regardless, choosing to leave is one of the best decisions I have ever made. If I had not broken off to gain the knowledge and experience I needed, I would not be the person I am today, and I feel fantastic. I gained so much so quickly, that I soon knew that I had made the right choice. Before I left my school, however, I was still carrying the dogma of and attachment to an educational system that was not serving me or humanity. Marching to the beat of a different drummer is not easy for anyone, especially someone who has investments in the current song. Fortunately, eastern philosophy and meditation assisted me in letting go, and as soon as I did follow my heart, great things happened.

—学生Laser Nite ’18

这三篇留学申请文书的范文题目都很常规,申请人也没有选择特别另类的切入点,但是他的故事都很个人且充满细节,这是非常值得学习的地方!

留学申请范文六:My love for people is the best part of myself

Prompt

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (100 words)

Response

Thankfully, I don’t have the attention span or the tolerance to invest time into an undertaking that I don’t find worthwhile and fun. While I am involved in numerous activities ranging from violin to debate, I never expected to look forward to my four-hour shifts as a waitress at a retirement home. I have a community of grandparents who recognize me as “Smiley Judy” and a family of coworkers who relish the food with me after Sunday brunch. Along with the fast-paced table juggling, the silly and serious interactions I have at my workplace are my ultimate source of pleasure.

Prompt

Although you may not yet know what you want to major in, which department or program at MIT appeals to you and why? (100 words)

Response

Some of my hardest decisions take place in the booth of a restaurant, so choosing a major has been an absolutely agonizing process for me. I fancied subject areas from English to chemistry, but I finally (hesitantly) decided on double majoring in mathematics and economics and minoring in French. My most concrete interest, mathematics, originates from my introduction to calculus and the realization that the breadth and depth of the mathematical world extend beyond straight numerical calculations. I believe that MIT’s superior mathematics program will add unimaginably new dimensions to this magical realm that I have only just discovered.

Prompt

What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you’d like to tell us about. (200-250)

Response

My love for people is the best part about myself. There is no better feeling than the happiness I find in meeting new people and creating connections with them. My extroverted personality is the root of much of my success in leadership, presentations, and networking. I naturally reach out to people, and as a result, I am able to accomplish projects like establishing a mentoring program for the French Honor Society and a threefold increase in membership for the Asian American Club. However, my outgoing personality made the most memorable impact at the “Conversation with Michelle Obama,” an event for which I was nominated to attend. Through GoogleHangout, several American cities were able to connect to Michelle Obama in South Africa. When the Kansas City group was asked about technology integration in education, the students all froze underneath the limelight. In a burst of courage, I blurted a couple of words and consequently received the microphone to continue. At that moment, it didn’t matter that there were thousands of people around the world including Michelle Obama listening; it was just me and my string of thoughts. I was the only person in Kansas City to speak that day.

I distinguish myself with my enthusiasm, and I easily see myself thriving as a part of the tight-knit community, the risk-taking hacking culture, and the passionately nerdy student population of MIT. After all, I still keep in touch with my lime-green carded tour guide.

—学生Judy Wang ’19

在这三篇留学申请文书范文中,作者的阐述也都富有细节和个人特色。

其中,最值得注意的是第三篇范文,虽然题目问的是看似比较笼统的性格,但是作者使用了非常具体的事例来论述,增强了文书的说服力。

如果你对留学申请书还是一头雾水,PS个人陈述或者经历背景挖掘不透彻,都可以添加文末微信,咨询我们专业的申请老师~今天的美国大学留学申请文书建议和范文分享就到此结束!希望能帮助到大家

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